1UP.com n00b journal

[jar]

http://www.1up.com/do/previewPage?cId=3142985&did=1

Here's the journal that was posted yesterday.

DAY ONE

900 hours: Reveille.

901 hours: Snooze button.

905 hours: Reveille, again. I'm usually not up before nine, but Sony is hosting a media walk-through of the SOCOM III public beta this morning. My task, as one of the last game journalists on earth who has never, ever played this series: figure out what on earth a SOCOM even is. After I shower.

1000 hours: So far, so good. They're giving us a walking tour of the map, showing us how to drive the Humvee and armored boat, and we're practicing our aim for lots of terrorist-killing. I figure that our team of Navy SEALs has got to win this round, as there's only one person on the terrorist side: one of the game's developers.

1030 hours: The terrorists win. This is mostly because all the Navy SEALs have accidentally committed suicide by jumping off a scenic high ledge, just to see what would happen.

DAY TWO

1300 hours: I fire up the game for my first una

ssisted attempt at counterterrorism. For some reason, the only lobbies that have actual players in them are, again, the US EAST. I find one called All Day War, which sounds like a good time, and jump in. I choose to be on the SEALs side, even though it looks like the terrorists outnumber us heavily.

1310 hours: After waiting for the game to begin, some instructions flash briefly onscreen. Apparently we need to breach the terrorist compound by retrieving a satchel and placing it in their building. This sounds like an exceptionally dangerous mission, and as soon as I read the instructions I know the perfect man for the job: Someone else. I decide rather magnanimously that I will provide "cover," even though I don't really know what that is.

1315 hours: I spawn next to some of my comrades and am able to quickly ascertain, though the handy voice chat feature, that none of them have any idea what the hell they are doing either.

1320 hours: One guy seems to have caught on a bit, as he's placed C4 on a fence. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!," I shout to no one in particular because I have forgotten to hold down the L2 button again.

1321 hours: I engage in my first firefight with a terrorist, who kills me in about two seconds. Dead, I can do nothing to aid my fellow SEALs, but I can switch the camera to their viewpoint and watch THEM get massacred too.

1330 hours: We all magically come back to life and try again.

1342 hours: As I'm about to peek out from the brush, a strange buzzing in my ear. An air raid? I look up instinctively. Actually it's the buzzer to the front door of my apartment building. FedEx comes in and drops off a demo disc for Genji: Dawn of the Samurai, which is looking pretty good right about now. But no! I must persevere, or the terrorists will have won.

1343 hours: The terrorists win.

1344 hours: Maybe this isn't the best room to be in. I think I might need to find a battlefield where people sort of know what they are doing. I join another game.

1345 hours: I love online gaming. Under the able command of "Lieutenant Jack Mehoff," we actually start planning strategy. It's a different sort of game, and we're supposed to take control of various checkpoints. I die quickly. But then I hear it: "SEALs Win!" I am elated! Until I realize that I have accidentally joined the terrorist side.

1350 hours: Our crack squad of terrorists actually squeak out a few wins, no thanks to me. Even as a terrorist I die instantly. But through listening in to the conversations over the headset I find out that, in the opinion of Lt. Mehoff, the mines in SOCOM 2 were better than the ones in this beta version. I make a mental note of this and promise to pass this along to people who might actually know what this means.

1401 hours: I accomplish something! After a major firefight at Checkpoint Delta, I sneak in and secure the checkpoint all by myself. I celebrate, and am shot to death -- but we win!

1500 hours: I can't see anything. I die about two times before I realize that it's a night level and I have to press R2 to put on my night-vision goggles. This helps quite a bit.

1402 hours: Taps. Hey, it's night time in the game which means I can take a nap if I want. Plus I'm a terrorist, so who's gonna stop me?

[Godmoney]

I love how some jounralists write, this guy is cool. It just fits so perfectly with SOCOM. Oh yeah, and I'll be the first to jump on Jars nuts and say, "GOOD JOB JAR!! I LOVE YOU!11!!".

[rebelsouth]

great job...this just gets me even more mad because we could all have it by now....but hopefully it will be better now since the date was pushed back...

1030 hours: The terrorists win. This is mostly because all the Navy SEALs have accidentally committed suicide by jumping off a scenic high ledge, just to see what would happen.

that was my fav part of the whole thing

[jar]

Originally Posted by mhsBlind

I love how some jounralists write, this guy is cool. It just fits so perfectly with SOCOM. Oh yeah, and I'll be the first to jump on Jars nuts and say, "GOOD JOB JAR!! I LOVE YOU!11!!".

Hahah, people love me.

I like how he put Jack Mehoff's name in the article. I would feel honored.

[Spike]

For I reveal myself! I am Jack Mehoff! L0l!!!!!!1!1!1!1

Good find jar, but this made me laugh the most...

1030 hours: The terrorists win. This is mostly because all the Navy SEALs have accidentally committed suicide by jumping off a scenic high ledge, just to see what would happen.

[InMaTe0000000001]

Originally Posted by jar

1315 hours: I spawn next to some of my comrades and am able to quickly ascertain, though the handy voice chat feature, that none of them have any idea what the hell they are doing either.

[/quote] lmao that is some funny stuff. i couldnt figure out what to quote but over all it seems like my first socom experience with my friends lol

[OTTER]

I hope this wasn't trying to critisize Socom 3...

I decide rather magnanimously that I will provide "cover," even though I don't really know what that is.

I mean, how ****ing stupid can you be? You need to know nothing about war or socom or...tactics or anything to know what "provide some cover" means. What an idiot.

[Spike]

He probably thought he had to lay down and anal rape a guy thinking it mean's cover his *** with spherm.

[Mithrandir]

isn't it just a joke?

I doubt anyone would not know what cover is...