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  1. #1 The Funny News Page 
    Moderator bigmike8119's Avatar
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    Post all your funny news articles that you may come across on your daily browsing.

    Armed robber tried to pay off overdraft
    An armed robber was arrested after he held up a bank - and returned minutes later to pay off his overdraft.
    The man ran into the Kredi Bank in the Serbian ski resort Nova Varos wearing a balaclava and brandishing a shotgun and demanded tellers hand over all the cash they had.
    He got the equivalent of £30,000 in cash and then ran out of the bank.
    Staff were still recovering from the shock of the robbery when Grlic, this time without his balaclava, walked back in to settle his overdraft.
    Sharp-eyed staff recognised the distinctive trainers he'd been wearing and called police.
    A police spokesman said: "The man had been wearing bright red trainers and everyone remembered them distinctly when they saw him run out of the bank.
    "They could not believe their eyes when they saw a man wearing the same shoes come back in and kept him in the bank talking about his overdraft while our officers arrived."
    The man, aged 33, has now been charged with armed robbery.


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  2. #2  
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    I heard about this a few days ago, I haven't seen it around here. Needless to say, I laughed.... a lot.

    A doctor is demanding his pound of flesh from his soon-to-be-former wife as part of their divorce.
    Richard Batista, a surgeon who split from his wife claiming that she had an affair, is asking that she now return the kidney that he gave her. “I saved her life and then, to be betrayed like this, is unfathomable. It's incomprehensible,” Mr Batista said. “I feel humbled and betrayed and disregarded. This divorce is killing me.”
    Have the divorce, I want my kidney back - Times Online
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  3. #3  
    Banned OME6A's Avatar
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    A sticky for this? Are you trying to get your rank up or what?
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    Full Member DSHFilut's Avatar
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    This story is not so much funny as it is ridiculous but it is kind of funny because of how stupid some people are.

    ELYRIA — A county judge found Daniel Petric guilty Monday of killing his mother and wounding his father in an October 2007 shooting, despite arguments from a defense attorney that the teenager’s addiction to video games made him not guilty by reason of insanity.
    Link
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  5. #5  
    Banned Razor's Avatar
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    Gotta love how everybody use's the insanity defense.
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    Senior Member Swiss Miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razor View Post
    Gotta love how everybody use's the insanity defense.
    But like... a sane person doesn't go around killing mommy and daddy because of video games, right? Insanity defense is legit.
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    By The Associated Press

    PORTLAND, Ore. - A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received some surprising news in paperwork issued by an Oregon hospital.

    It read: "Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant." Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

    The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach, Oregon, gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills.

    Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital's computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.
    No link, sorry. It was an article I favorite awhile back, looks like they took it down though.


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  8. #8  
    Moderator The mOBSCENE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Altron View Post
    No link, sorry. It was an article I favorite awhile back, looks like they took it down though.
    I wish I could get painkillers that easily from a hospitals dumb mistake.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Swiss Miss View Post
    But like... a sane person doesn't go around killing mommy and daddy because of video games, right? Insanity defense is legit.
    The act of saying your insane, does that not prove sanity if your able to rationalize that your insane?

    New name! Old one was shadow1768.

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    Banned Razor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swiss Miss View Post
    But like... a sane person doesn't go around killing mommy and daddy because of video games, right? Insanity defense is legit.
    In some case's yeah. But i mean almost every single trial i see these days they use that. You can't tell me they are all insane. Even if they are they should be executed anyway. How dare you think you know more about the judicial system then i do.
    Last edited by Razor; 01-15-2009 at 02:21 AM.
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  11. #11  
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    Man gets jail for fleeing before probation verdict

    FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) -- A man who would have been on probation for his drug conviction will now have to spend six months in jail - all because he fled before hearing a jury's sentencing verdict. To make matters worse, James Carroll Franklin was captured after a high-speed chase through three counties, for which he faces more charges that could bring additional jail time.
    Franklin, 47, of Azle, apparently panicked Wednesday after hearing prosecutors in the Wise County courtroom urge jurors to sentence him to life in prison, said his attorney, Jim Shaw.
    Franklin, who was allowed to remain free after being convicted of possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, asked Shaw if he would be able to see his daughter and take care of personal business. Shaw said he told Franklin probably not.
    But the attorney said he also explained to Franklin that he likely would get probation and that a sentence of less than 10 years would allow him to go free on an appeal bond within 24 hours.
    Franklin then went to the restroom, and less than five minutes later jurors returned with their verdict: a $1,000 fine and six years in prison, which they recommended be probated, Shaw said.
    When Franklin couldn't be located, despite text messages from family members, Wise County deputies broadcast a radio message to stop him, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported Thursday.
    Franklin then led authorities on a high-speed chase through Wise and Parker counties before he was captured in Tarrant County by officers who rammed his car and used a stun gun on him when he resisted arrest, Shaw said.
    Shaw said his client realized his mistake Thursday morning when the judge sentenced him to 180 days in jail for violating terms of his 10-year probation. Franklin also faces a felony charge of evading arrest in a motor vehicle, his attorney said. The charge is punishable by 180 days to 2 years in jail.
    "He told me, 'I fouled up, didn't I?" Shaw said. "I said, `Yea, legally you probably did."
    News from The Associated Press


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    Banned Razor's Avatar
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    Wow what a moron.
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    Wow that sucks, I can understand freaking out after hearing that you may spend the rest of your life in prison but if he would have stayed he would have just got probation. That guy must be kicking him self.
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  14. #14  
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    Feces-throwing monkey on the lam

    CLEARWATER, Fla. - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.
    The monkey is not considered dangerous.
    Poo-pitching primate on the loose - Animal weirdness- msnbc.com


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    Lol....I read about that monkey yesterday.


    This one reminds me of Grand Theft Auto.

    CAPE CORAL, Fla. - Cape Coral police are searching for a shoplifter who got away after being run over twice by her own getaway car!

    According to police, on Tuesday a woman went into the T.J. Maxx on Del Prado Boulevard and stuffed six expensive purses down her pants. She then ran outside to her getaway car, but when she went to get in she fell out. She was then run over by the car. She then jumped onto the hood of the car, fell off, and got run over again!

    Police say the woman, the car, and the purses took off down the street, but in all the commotion a personal check flew out of the car.

    Police have checked the names and addresses connected to the check but so far no arrests.

    Shoppers say they're glad the alleged shoplifter was the only one hurt in the heist.

    "She had no business first of all stealing, and then endangering other innocent victims, at the same time someone could have been killed," said Cape Coral shopper Carla Peterson.

    Police say the woman was wearing beige scrubs and the getaway car was described as a silver Saturn.
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