Well I need some input on my lyrics, I know it maybe tough as I don't have a vocal melody but it is acoustic. I'm writing a song for my girlfriend for when she gets back from a month in Spain. This is only my second song I have ever wrote so be easy on me
When I'm With You - By Joel Fletcher
Code:
Well you're here, you're finally back
This month has been way too long
You have no idea how I've missed you
But we have made it through this
Which means we can make it through anything
How I've longed to be you you and see you
Talk to you, hold you, kiss you
When I'm with you, time will cease to be
I never want that to end
I have never felt this way before
You're the one who puts a smile on my face
Even if I am really feeling down
Babe, when I see you my heart skips a beat
I always crack a smile, from a frown
When I'm With you
I'm so lucky to have you in my life
Missed you tonnes while you were gone
Saying goodbye to you on that day
Was way to damn hard to do
But I made it through and am with you
You're the one who puts a smile on my face
Even if I am really feeling down
Babe, when I see you my heart skips a beat
I always crack a smile, from a frown
When I'm With you
note: I am currently working on a 4th verse to fit in here
Break
Solo
You're the on who puts a smile on my face
Even if I am really feeling down
Babe, when I see you my heart skips a beat
I always crack a smile, from a frown
When I'm With you
When I'm With you
When I'm With you
When I'm with you
Copyright 2008, Joel Fletcher, All rights Reserved, all that legal stuff=]
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Please just look, there has to be something
How could this go from blissful to nothing?
You meant so much to me, and you still do
But how can I go on, living without you?
Without music behind it... they just don't fit. It's hard to piece them together because we don't know what you think the finished song might sound like.
Without music behind it... they just don't fit. It's hard to piece them together because we don't know what you think the finished song might sound like.
Is there any song that you could compare it to?
Hmm, I'm currently working on the chord progression now, should have the ground work of it done tonight, not strumming patters but chord names
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Please just look, there has to be something
How could this go from blissful to nothing?
You meant so much to me, and you still do
But how can I go on, living without you?
It's so much harder to write music to words. When you do it the other way around, the lyrics just flow. Omegar writes music, so I think he'd agree with me on this one.
Those lyrics have potential, but be careful doing the music. I'd suggest tweaking them when you have the guitar down so you know they fit perfect.
It's so much harder to write music to words. When you do it the other way around, the lyrics just flow. Omegar writes music, so I think he'd agree with me on this one.
Those lyrics have potential, but be careful doing the music. I'd suggest tweaking them when you have the guitar down so you know they fit perfect.
Of course, I couldn't really do the music part as I was in class but my ideas just started to flow and I had to write them. These are only the second set of lyrics and of course will be tweaked upon guitar part. Just working on chord progression. God bless Nashville Numbering System
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Please just look, there has to be something
How could this go from blissful to nothing?
You meant so much to me, and you still do
But how can I go on, living without you?
Hmm, I'm currently working on the chord progression now, should have the ground work of it done tonight, not strumming patters but chord names
If you can, record a bit of what you get down.
Oh, and I also forgot to talk about the point of the thread;
They are nice lyrics. Maybe try to get a bit of a rhyming pattern going to give it more flow. When I read lyrics like this, I auto-think of Hey There Delilah, so if your finished product sounds anything like that, you sir are a real winner with lyrics.
Is this the same chick that you asked out not too long ago?
Oh, and I also forgot to talk about the point of the thread;
They are nice lyrics. Maybe try to get a bit of a rhyming pattern going to give it more flow. When I read lyrics like this, I auto-think of Hey There Delilah, so if your finished product sounds anything like that, you sir are a real winner with lyrics.
Is this the same chick that you asked out not too long ago?
Yes it is the same chick:P
Upon talking to her about it I realized that it was nothing that I did wrong, thanks to her mother. Apparently,girlfriend, was super pissed at me, and was ranting about it to her mom, whom I had not met at this point, after she was done her mom said this:
"Is it just me, or did this guy do absoutally nothing wrong and you're saying you're already done?"
"It's teenage stuff mom, I didn't tell you the whole story"
10 minutes later
"Mom, you were totally right, he did absoutally nothing wrong"
But yeah, when I get some free time this week I'll try to lay something down on the computer.
__________________
Please just look, there has to be something
How could this go from blissful to nothing?
You meant so much to me, and you still do
But how can I go on, living without you?
Obv strumming patterns will be altered, working on making it fit.
Any suggestion on capo placement, or if I should even use one?
I was thinking capo on 3.
__________________
Please just look, there has to be something
How could this go from blissful to nothing?
You meant so much to me, and you still do
But how can I go on, living without you?
Music first, then lyrics.
Omegar writes music, so I think he'd agree with me on this one.
You couldn't be more right. It's a tricky thing though because sometimes, like in this situation, you know what you want to say so the lyrics come more easily. I hate writing music around lyrics though, it's something I dread.
The lyrics are good though, Fazed. They're heavy on the sap, but chicks dig that. Update us when you've got it finished.
Side note: How long have you been with this girl? The song's kind of heavy if it's still a recent thing. It may put her off a bit. Just something to think about.
I got your message on XBL last night about selling your Xbox. It made me sad.
Don't be sad OME6A. I have news that will cheer you up.
I will have a 360 again for GOW2.
Fazed, it seems like you have what could turn out being a good song on your hands here. But like OME6A said, depending on how recent you started the relationship, it could be "weird" shall we say.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allstar
Invite her over, make you're move. Lay Pipe.
And if you're not as smooth as me, punch her in the temple, lay pipe. Then act like you got knocked out and say you were raped too.
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