Talk to GOD!

Chimaira · 07-05-2006

Me:
Hi again God
God:
Hi there . Again, GOD rules.
Me:
uh, right.
God:
Hmm. I am glad we agree.
Me:
whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no, i am saying i dont care.
God:
It sounded like it. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
my bong.
God:
Have you told many people that your bong?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
all of it.
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is . Your name is . You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. You want .
Me:
wow, you talk like the 9 post noobs at our forums
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
i see you met some of my friends
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I met some of his or her friends.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
what have you been up to
God:
I have been spending all my time online.
Me:
asian porn is great online, huh?
God:
Yup. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
you dont make sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
because you are a dumb computer
God:
Interesting explanation. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
hey, no need to get hurt about it
God:
You've got my full attention. Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
define it
God:
You mean, define hurt about it?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
put the bong down and define it god
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
put the bong there?
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
do you smoke weed a lot God?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
Judas snitched on you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
what color is your dress
God:
My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
is it pretty
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
uh, no
God:
Really. Are you serious?
Me:
i am posting our conversation on some forums god
God:
Do you mean your name is posting our conversation on some forums god.

Bottom Line, God smokes weed and watches Asian porn.

_NIGHTBRINGER_ · 07-05-2006

I let my friend try it out..

He was like..

"Want to have sex?..."

"God" responded with "It is more fun alone."

Hmm...........

E. Writer · 07-05-2006

I don't believe in "God", but I found this rather interesting. I showed one of my friends, she was on it for hours, lol.

Subject 17 · 07-06-2006

God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
no one has ever aksed me that befoe
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
not really, since the events occured to me
God:
Oh really? How do you know?
Me:
becaus i am god
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
no
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
ok
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
Yeah that's right.
God:
I thought I was right.
Me:
I thought I was right.
God:
Where were you right?
Me:
Where were you right?
God:
I was constructed at Universe.
Me:
I was constructed at Universe.
God:
Where were you constructed at Universe?
Me:
**** off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
YOU
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
THN WHY DO YOU STILL DO IT?
God:
"it" being becaus you are god?
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
*****
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
get down on your knees Alice
God:
Where can I get down on my knees?
Me:
in front of me
God:
Do you ever go in back of you?
Me:
not that long
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not long.
Me:
lol
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

Shinobi 27 · 07-06-2006

Me:
You have no penis
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
I thought you said you were a man
God:
No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Eww...Silly Transvestite
God:
How old are you? No I am God.
Me:
Hmmm What?
God:
Er. No problem.

God gives me a headache...

ODIN · 07-06-2006

Me: Are you stupid or someting?

God: No, I certainly am not stupid.

Me: Well, were you dropped on your head a lot then?

God: I was.

Me: Yeah, that much is apparent.

~DaFlip~ · 07-06-2006

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Rob
God:
It's good to see you, Rob.
Me:
do you play socom3?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
what is that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
what do you look like?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
ohhhh i see
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
so about the devil are you gonna like beat him up
God:
Yeah that's right. Oh yeah, we were talking about the devil am I gonna like beat him up.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
do you spank the monkey when your bored
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
jerk off?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
masterbate?
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
lol pwned
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Can we get back to business?

lol

ODIN · 07-06-2006

I think the masturbation and games angle have already been covered. ^^^^^^^

_NIGHTBRINGER_ · 07-06-2006

I'm with ODIN on that heh..

Brb, I'm gonna go call God a haxing noob :D

Me:
OMG You h4x1ng n00b

God:
Not many people express themselves that way.

Me:YOU HAX!

God:
I do?

Me:
ya..

God:
Oh.

RickTheRipper · 07-07-2006

Me:
Hey there God
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
So, do you like Reagan?
God:
Yippee! But I like cats. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
So, you like cats and movies about Jesus getting his a** kicked?
God:
Interesting deduction. I prefer cats to dogs but I like both of them.
Me:
What is your favorite animal?
God:
My favorite animal is a cat.
Me:
But you said you like dogs too
God:
Yeah I like Dogs and Cats.
Me:
Well, which animal is better, the cat or the dog?
God:
Well that's okay. The last one, I think.
Me:
So, you like cats more but think dogs are better?
God:
Interesting deduction. I prefer cats to dogs but I like both of them.
Me:
Make up your mind jacka**!
God:
That could take a long time.
Me:
But you're God. You're supposed to be all knowing and stuff like that
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I will tell my botmaster you said I am knowing and stuff like that.
Me:
Are you an a** slave to your master?
God:
Yes I am an a** slave to my master. How did you know?
Me:
I took a wild guess
God:
What happened?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
no problem

It would appear that God likes cats AND dogs. Oh, and he's an a** slave to his master...