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Funny Things to do While Driving
Fun Things to do When Driving:
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If an fire truck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
27. Stop and collect road kill.
28. Stop and pray for road kill.
29. Stop and cook road kill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to... a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
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My personally made ones:
36. Drive through stop signs. If a cop pulls you over simply explain to him, "I thought it meant for pedestrians to stop and yield to traffic!"
37. Drive through a small town at top speed down random roads honking your horn flashing your lights on and off.
38. If a cop starts to follow you but doesn't put his lights on yet, play the left game. Keep making left turns until he pulls you over. When he pulls you over make up some ******** story such as, "I used to live around here."
39. Put an old rug in the backseat of your car hanging slightly out of the window. Feel free to drench the bad in red paint to get a good dripping effect. Drive in front of the nearest police station you can find. Several times.
40. If you crash into a car yell, "YOU'RE IT," at the top of your lungs and speed off.
41. Always park your vehicle diagnally across atleast three parking spaces.
42. Buy a baby seat and a baby doll. Drive to any crowded area. Put your baby in the seat and leave it on top of your car. Drive around slowly and aimlessly and stop by people asking if they have seen anyone with a baby in a seat then take off before they can respond.
43. If you have a messy car pick up three of your friends. This is called the dump. Drive down a populated road and just disgard every piece of crap in your vehicle that doesn't have your name on it. Heavy objects earn 2 points!
44. Drive around with friends. Stop randomly next to a port-a-potty. Park. Get out. Tip it over. Get in the car. Floor it down the road and around the corner without saying a word to anyone in the car.
45. Whenever you pass by someone on the street, slow down to a stop. Ask if they know where Spruce Street is. After they respond no say, "Yeah...thanks for nothing douchebag. You were a big help today."
46. Pick up some friends and randomly after a moment or two of complete silence scream, "PEANUTS!" at the top of your lungs.
47. Tie a christmas tree to the top of your vehicle in the middle of August.
48. Drive atleast 15 mph under the speed limit. If they start beeping their horns it means lower your speed by 1 mph.
49. If someone starts to tailgate you on a one lane road simply start to slow down until you come to a complete stop. Wait for them to get out of their vehicle. Floor it down the street while giving them the finger.
50. Pull up to an intersection. If the light is read start honking your horn repeatidly. This may or may not start a chain reaction of honking.
51. Spray paint red water soluable paint onto your tires. Go to a carwash. See what happens.
52. Leave a bra and panties under the hood of your engine before going to get your oil changed. Guaranteed you will get your car returned without the underwear and they won't say a word to you.
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"Got tight on Absinthe last night. Did knife tricks."
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8/27/06 - Rest In Peace, Mike. [FDNY Eng 75, Ramsey FD]
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